MY "CONDITION".....

It occurred to me today that maybe I have taken my "skin condition" too far. Some history.......I have a "skin condition". I am always very, very itchy when my humans are around and this necessitates lots of rubbing and itching. In fact I have determined that I should be rubbed, scratched and itched for a minimum of 15 minutes every hour to help with my "condition". However, my humans have other ideas. One was to take me to that doctor lady, the one who banned the great and glorious drive-thru window, and have her check me out. After careful evaluation, skin scraping, and viewing of my skin she made a diagnosis of, "There is nothing wrong with this dogs skin. He just wants attention." Now I am no doctor but that sounds pretty bad to me. I snuggled up against that doctor lady and rubbed my head on her hand to show her what I felt was the appropriate treatment plan. She came through for me and itched behind my ears. She then said I was a mess, so again this "condition" must be pretty bad. So today, when I was once again trying to stress to my humans the need for my treatment I got tossed in the bathtub. This was not the response I was hoping for. I do like the water. I like to drink the water. I like to splash in the water. I like to swim in the water. But I'm not to fond of the bath. All that soap and being clean and having to stand still....well that's just no fun. So I think in the future, maybe so I can avoid all the baths, I will have to cut my treatment back to rubbing, scratching and itching for 15 minutes every two hours.....at a minumum of course.

YARD WORK DAY

Today my humans said we had to go outside and do the yard work. Now I like to go outside. I like to lay in the sun. I like to chew on the stick. I like to roll in the grass. I like to chase the leaf especially when it blows around, but I'm not sure about this yard work. I tried at first to be helpful. I would try to help if a hole needed some diggin' and I would carry a stick or a leaf or any wayward trash from one place to another if that would help, but after a few minutes I kinda just get bored. So I went over to the nice soft grass and decided the best thing I could do is hold down a pile of leaves 'til my human came over to use the big scary machine and suck them all up. I don't understand why we have to do the yard work. I mean in a couple days all the leaves will just be all piled up again and then we have to start all over. I guess that's okay though cause then I can sun myself some more.....oh I mean help with the yard work................

Today has been a boring day. I've just been laying around. This lady here has been working all day. I hate work. It interrupts my play time. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day. I hope so. I just been so bored.

THE OLD-MAN AND OLD-LADY

I just got some wonderful news. The Old-Man (and yes the Old-Lady too) are coming to see me. Now they aren't coming til tomorrow but I'm looking for them already anway 'cause I'm very excited. Let me tell you about my Old-Man and Old-Lady. In human terms I understand they are my great-grandpa and great-grandma but I refer to them as the Old-Man and Old-Lady, lovingly of course. My Old-Man is almost perfect (the only reason he is not is because he doesn't come see me enough which should be at least every day). My Old-Man takes me places (like the banned drive-thru window). He takes me to the park and he takes me on walks. He always brings me a treat or some chicken he cooked for me. He lets me chew on his fingers. He lets me do boo-boo wherever I want and he just pretty much lets me do anything I might want to. He even bought a shiny new SUV and in the back there is a "puggy play area" with a food and water bowl, a nice soft blanket, toys and chewies. It's all so wonderful. Then there is the Old-Lady...........She could do with some improving. She says way too much of things like "No Wonka", "Stop it Wonka", "Don't do that Wonka", "Put that down Wonka"......you get the picture. She also calls me names and says things like "You're fat Wonka" and "You're bad Wonka". I try real hard to like her because sometimes she pets my head and does nice things but she really needs to concentrate better on doing things right. However, I have to say it's nice to have that Old-Lady because if nothing else she is the keeper of the Old-Man!